Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand how hurricane paths work

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why is Nickelback known to be a bad band?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can count

Citigroup lifts banking curbs on gun makers and sellers - NBC News

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I see through liars

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

UK has fingers in its ears over Trump’s defense threat - politico.eu

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Rory McIlroy makes an 8, barely breaks 80 in missing cut at RBC Canadian Open - NBC Sports

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

You hold the door open for a lady and she stops in her tracks and screams at you, ‘Don’t hold the door for me! I’ll get it myself!’ What are your feelings or immediate reaction?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Are there any penalties for bestiality in the USA and laws prohibiting it?

I don’t buy bullshit

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Can you give an example of a documentary where the person telling the story believed it to be true, but it turned out to be false?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Scientists discover giant underground sponge capable of supplying water to rivers and cities - Earth.com

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Main Card Results | UFC 316: Dvalishvili vs O'Malley 2 - UFC.com

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why do many women in Turkey prefer to date blacks as a lover?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Nintendo Warns Switch 2 Owners Not to Remove Protective Screen Film - CNET

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Did you ever receive genuine remarks from a medium regarding your deceased relative with information that the medium could never normally know?

I have complete contempt for fakery

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Jamie Dimon says he wouldn't count on China folding under Trump's tariffs: 'They're not scared, folks.' - Business Insider

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

How did you become popular in school?

I don’t cotton to rapists

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Vienna calling: Strauss's 'Blue Danube' waltzes into outer space - Phys.org

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can read

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened